Post Calcon!
Monday, May 29th, 2006
Hello Every-nyun!
Got back last night… Whew! Loong trip! It’s actually not that far to Calgary from the DC Metro area, but it’s long if you take the back asswards route, a la to Phoenix, AZ first, then up to Calgary.
Whatta trip! I was like a whirlwind blowing through the meat-eating Alberta, Canada. Have I mentioned, they like their meat? I can live happily there as I’ve been known tear the ass outta anything with four legs, boy-howdy!
Right, back to the trip.
Those guys are the nicest people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting this side of North America. Fo’ Shizzle! Con promoter, Steve Fuller was a miracle worker, pulling together a one day convention almost fully by his lonesome. That is one bad man.
There nothing greater than a promoter looking out for every one of his guests, no matter who they may be.
Looking back, I’d say that Calgary had some of the most hospitable people on the planet!
You did good, Fuller and co.! Rockin’!
Here’s a more detailed recap of the trip if’n youse interested.
The Legion of Steve
Last night I woke up screaming, “The Legion of Steve!!!”
Drenched in sweat, a cold chill ran down my spine as I started to recount my encounter with the Steve’s at this past Calgary Con. With such a diabolical name, I knew I’d be scarred for life…
It all started on a dark stormy night… wait, make that a dark and stormy plane ride into Calgary.
An exchange of emails informed me that I was to be “picked up at the airport” by some guy named Steve Gettis. I knew it was code.
This was to be my first time in “Calgary” (code talk) While I had been to the “Niagara Falls” area, I was briefed that Calgary may be a little different. People from that area had flap jack heads and drove in cars with square wheels.
As I entered the Customs Area, I knew it would be a tough trip. The customs guy kept asking for my card (which I don’t have, nor have I printed any in many years)
“What are you doing in Canada, ey?”
“Ummm, I’m here for a comic book convetion.”
“Oh, really? What is your part in this ‘comic book convention’, ey?”
“I’m a guest.”
“Ohhh, a guest, ey? Soooo, what does a guest do, ey?”
“I dunno, man. I sign books, draw sketches, so on and so forth.”
20 mins of hard interrogations later, I was allowed to pass through the golden gates and into… Calgary… CANADA!
(Oh, that Customs Officer didn’t have a flap jack for a head. Something was amiss.)
I was getting leery of the place as I entered the main terminal of the airport. Something is very off here. There were no Mounties, people walked upright and on the floor, and oddly, the cars had round wheels. I was thinking that since this WAS an international airport, they didn’t let the craziness creep in.
Along floated a flap jack. It floated closer and closer. Then it talked.
“You wouldn’t be Pop Mhan, would you?”
I looked closer. It wasn’t a flap jack… It was a noggin! Attached to a lankey body. He said his name was Steve Gettis.
Steve Gettis aka “The Gettis” quickly became my arch nemesis.
We made small talk while waiting for another Canadian named Ken Steacy to arrive at the airport from “Vancouver” (code talk, I’m sure). Since I’m a huge fan of Ken’s from way back when, I knew he’d look normal. (hahaha)
Ken appeared with his beautiful wife a short while after I was poisoned, I mean treated to some “coffee” (iced) from some placed named “Tim Horton’s”. The Gettis laughed when I told him I had Cat’s Tongue. (my mouth can’t stand hot temperature)
Ken, his wife and I piled into The Gettis’ van. It also had round wheels. He was a wiley one, this “Gettis”, but he won’t take me down without a fight!
We arrived at the Motel Village Comfort Inn after about 40 mins. The traffic wasn’t bad at all, although it did remind a bit of Route 7, Northern VA traffic.
There was a huge sign in front of the hotel saying that it had a two story water slide. I was put at ease. Things were starting to fall into place. The metric system, signs written in French and English and two story water slides in a hotel. This was truly Calgary!!! I readied myself with steeley resolve and pried my eyes awake. (At this point of the trip, I was working on about 34 hours without sleep and emerging feeling of jet lag)
We checked into our rooms and were told to meet in the lobby at 7pm (It’s pretty cool that they used the good ol’ am-pm system there as well, hahahahah.)
The Gettis said he had a few thing to do until then. He couldn’t fool me. I knew he was going to his van to get his Hockey stick. It’s the Canadian weapon of choice.
I scurried to my room, where I was to Skype the Golfster!
She was sick and bedridden. Boohoo.
Here I was about to get my head bashed in by my Arch-nemesis and she is only bedridden from being sick! Women just don’t know how good they got, man!
Oh, the hotel’s interenet sucked. It took ten years to log on. I called the front desk and the guy told me to plug the laptop into the wall jack using a cat-5. Thanks buddy. Why don’t you put me in a room WITH a CAT-5 wall jack!!!!
Leter on I met everyone in the lobby. There were more people there. Most notably, the Legion of Steve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Arrrrr! Aaaahhh!
Steve Fuller, Steve Gettis, Steve Leialoha, Steve Rolston, Steve Sadowski and few other Steves that I couldn’t remember and to be present at the con itself… Steve Preece.
To Be Continued!!!!!!!
Next Time: The Steve’s Take over Calgary! The Calgary Comice and Toy Expo at least.
Whew, I can’t believe you read all of that crap! Anyhow, i wanted to mention that the kids in the picture way above there were the cutest kids ever! Their parents did a great job raising them as well. Honest kids! I gave them $5 to find and buy a book with a picture of Boba Fett for me so that I could do a sketch for them. Not only did they find the book, they even brought back change. 
Yeah, I was a little dissapointed that Canada was exactly the SAME as America. Yeah there was tiny little quirks but they were the same as going from state to state here in the US. The only diffrence I was able to pick up on in the language was the pronunciation of “-ou” My “-ou” are pronounced more like “-ow”, theirs is more “-oo” They pronounce “about” more like “aboot” Hahahaha, I thought it was kinda cute.
THANKS AGAIN, YOU GUYS FROM CALGARY!!!! Steve Fuller for flying me out and putting me up. Steve Gettis for cart my butt everywhere over the weekend! You guys ROCK!
